This is a day late but whatever. Fathers day makes me angry, not because I don’t respect fathers but just because theres a day where we celebrate the guys who knocked up their significant other. My father ran away when I was 6, told me he was going on a “business trip” and he never returned. I hope he realizes that I’m happy he ran away. I would practice smiling in the mirror when i was 7 so I could hide my anger and now I mask my emotions better than almost anybody. I hope he realizes that he gave me an example of what not to be, whats wrong with society. Don’t get me wrong, I took a bunch of shit for not having a father but thanks for running away dad. You made me who I am today. S/O to all the dads who stayed and to all the dads who left, nobody misses you. At all. Remember that.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be happy with myself. I worry that if I can’t be happy with myself, then nobody will ever be happy with me, and that just makes me even more paranoid. It’s a cycle, insecurity, unconfidece, and diffidence, its all a cycle and it’s destroying me.